While walking to the library today, I saw a little kid playing with a remote controlled mechanical spider. From far enough away, however, the spider looked real. And my mind went Oh that can't be real.
Until another part of my mind said Oh yes it can. If He is real - and I know He is (I don't know why I know, but I know) - then who knows what else is real. Giant spiders. Sewer alligators. Pop rocks and soda.
When I got closer, I saw that the little kid was controlling it with a remote, however, so my mind rested easy. Until the bit of my mind that sucks said Isn't that like life? We think we're in control, but someone else is holding the remote. We're all mechanical spiders.
I ignore this part of my mind most of the time - if I didn't, I think I would curl into a ball and never leave my apartment - but today I just got this bad feeling in my stomach, like I was going to throw up.
At the library, I got something called The Book of Cant. Don't know why, just picked it up. For some reason, this makes me more nervous.