Saturday, March 5, 2011

Sane's story

Breakfast at IHOP this morning, we had a little surprise: just after we were served our food, Special Agents Liza Jane and Aladdin Sane walked up to our table.

Agnes looked up at her and said, "Well, if it isn't Special Agent Liza Jane. Or is it Lady Stardust? I could never keep track."

"Agnes," Jane said. "We need to talk."

"No, we really don't." Agnes turned back to the menu, studying it intently.

Jane put her hands on the table and said, "We can talk outside or we can arrest you. I know you have a gun on your person."

Agnes looked madder than I'd ever seen her. Finally, she put the menu down and stood up. "Fine. Five minutes only though."

"Won't take longer than five minutes," Jane said and they both walked outside, Agnes in front.

Special Agent Sane sat down on the other side of the table from me. I didn't know what to say or if I should say anything. Finally, I said, "I didn't know they knew each other."

Sane started tapping his fingers on the table. Tap tap tap. "There's a lot you don't know."

"Well, I know that," I said and tried to smile. He continued tapping. "So, how'd you, you know, end up doing this stuff?"

Sane tapped his fingers and was silent for a few seconds, then said, "I worked narcotics in Miami. One day, we raided a warehouse to try and bust some drug dealers." He stopped tapping. "All the dealers were dead though. Other cops said rival dealers must have held them at gunpoint and made them drink bleach. But that was stupid. Why poison them if you could just shoot them? And why wouldn't the dealers fight back?" He started tapping again. "I looked over some security footage and couldn't find anything - until a few days before the raid. walked in and then walked out of the warehouse. He wore some sort of overcoat and a mask, with a long beak. Looked it up later on - it was a Venetian costume, Medico Della Peste. The Doctor of Plague." Tap tap tap. "Just looking at him on the security footage made me want to wash my hands until they bled. And I knew. This man had done something. Just five minutes of being near him and the dealers chugged bleach like they were fourties. They must have felt so..."

He stopped tapping and I turned to see that Agnes and Agent Jane were back. "We're done here," Jane said and Agent Sane got up.

Agnes was silent for a while and we ate our breakfast without words. I was afraid to ask her what they talked about, but I finally got the courage to ask "How'd you two know each other?"

Agnes leaned down to pet Opus before saying, "She's my sister. Wanted me to work for them. Turned her down."

"Oh. Okay." I pushed the food around on my plate. "Do you want this? I'm not really hungry."

"Sure." She took my food and I watched her eat.

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